So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
