Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
