margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
