Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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