Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
