I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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