There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
