the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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