My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
third nipple confirmed
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
