About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
