I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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