i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
