if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
It's blow job season.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
