Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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