It's Friday. Sex?
Barsexuality is the new black.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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