hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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