I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
