I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
