whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Randomize
