ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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