is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
