Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
