Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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