I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I need to calm my uterus...
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
