Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
