I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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