Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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