I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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