She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize