I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
