So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
