whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I understand Curling. That high.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
