we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
