The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
the day after is always just damage control
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
