The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
