So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
