Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
