he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
