I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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