she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
did i just pee glitter
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
