just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
