And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
