Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
