Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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