They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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