Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
