Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
