Say something about gay babies.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
