no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
