Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
