Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
