I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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