you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
