He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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