After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
