so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize